In the future we'll all be gay
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
