I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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