its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
