Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
