she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize