dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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