I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
