Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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