hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
