He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
