He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
