so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
