Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Houston, we have a squirter
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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