He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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