You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize