How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
