dude i'm inner monologue high
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
