PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
