He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
