i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
