so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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