Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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