Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
