drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
