Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
