I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
