Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
