Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
