Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
