Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize