I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
