Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
