You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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