how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
