Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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