We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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