i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
