This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
