My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
