I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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