I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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