The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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