I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
