Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
