tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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