So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
