Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
