I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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