would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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