Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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