I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
