I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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