He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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