No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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