Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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