just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
