I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
