The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
