oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
