Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Watching her eat just hurts me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
