is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
